Why self-talk is the most powerful hack in the world

Why self-talk is the most powerful hack in the worldWhy self-talk is the most powerful hack in the worldI listened as one of my fellow FBI werbers gave a briefing on the next steps he planned to take in his investigation. I thought he welches headed in the wrong direction, and when he asked for our opinions, I told him what I thought.Unfortunately, I was the only one in the room who thought he was headed for trouble because everyone disagreed with me. I felt I had made a huge faux pas- I didnt like the agents idea while everyone else thought it was brilliantThe negative self-talk chatter started to build. You should have kept your mouth shut. That was stupid. You came across as argumentative, etc. My self-talk was nothing more than self-criticism. I couldnt wait to get out of that room.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThe internal conversations we have with ourselves, called self -talk, can go on for days, and sometimes through our nights as well. My self-talk was negative and destructive because it made me question myself, and soon I was second-guessing myself.Many of us know how vicious that inner critic can be. Often, we are harder on ourselves than we are on others. Its not because we want to be, its because we dont know how to manage our negative self-talk.Energy follows attention- wherever your attention is focused, your energy will follow. If your inner critic is beating you up about a failure, your failing will be the one thing you focus on.However, there are ways you can harness the power of self-talk so it can help you. Here are 8 ways you can make self-talk the most powerful hack in the world1.Nip it in the budNotice when you begin negative self-talk who are the people that trigger it? and the situations or circumstances?Do a post-mortem on when youve unleashed the inner critic and then ask yourself some basic questionsAre my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations?Am I jumping to negative conclusions?What is the evidence for and against my thinking?How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?Once you get in the habit of observing your self-talk, noting whether or not its constructive, youll find it that much easier to nip the negative thoughts in the bud.2.Reverse the negative spiralIn theRogelbergstudy, researchers discovered that the more you use negative self-talk and second-guess yourself, the less free your mind will be to roam through creative solutions of the problems that you face. These outcomes will only further cause you to doubt yourself, leading to a negative, downward spiral.Turn the situation around and counter your inner critic with positive and constructive self-talk. For example, in my situation, I could say to myself, I dont always agree with my colleagues. Im glad I stuck to my guns and pointed out where the investigation could trip over itself. At least the agent understands that t here are potential problems if he continues in that direction, etc.3.Be specificWhen I say, Dont look at the pink elephant, a pink elephant immediately comes to mind. In the same way, when you criticize yourself, you see a stupid person who constantly makes mistakes.If your self-talk is I dont want- , all you will be thinking about are the things you dont want- which will probably be what you end up with because that is where your energy will be focused.However, if your self-talk is I want- , you will be thinking about all the specific things you do want- which is probably what youll end up with4.Change self-limiting beliefsMany times it is our self-limiting beliefs that create the negative self-talk. As long as you are talking to yourself anyway, ask Why do I have this self-limiting belief?Most self-limiting beliefs start in childhood and can be pointed to a parent or teacher telling us we couldnt do something.Those memories stick with us, even when circumstances change.5.Respect y ourselfOne litmus test to stop destructive or negative self-talk dead in its track is to ask yourself this simple question Would I talk to a child like this?If the answer is no, you can be certain you are wasting precious energy on denigrating yourself in a destructive way. Often, we treat ourselves much worse than we would treat strangers in fact, we would have no friends if we talked to them like we talked to ourselves6.Watch your languageScientists estimate that we have between 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts every day. Whenever you think about something, it is a form of self-talk so you can see how important it is to control your thoughts.Resilient people do not whine, complain, or blame others instead, they have themental toughnessto take responsibility for their actions. Since you are not perfect, there will be mistakes and failures instead of responding with negative self-talk, accept responsibility and turn your attention, and energy, toward learning from your mistakes and failure s.7.Embrace your imperfectionsMany CEOs, entrepreneurs, and business owners are both overachievers and perfectionists. Its a double whammy of a curse because they often end up holding themselves to an impossible standard of performance.But no one will tell you they are a success because theyre a perfectionist or an overachiever.Instead, they will tell you they are a success because they are willing to mess up, learn, and move on. They dont give up on themselves.8.Give your inner critic a anthroponymResearcher David Rockbelieves that labeling our negative emotions is an effective way of short-circuiting their hold over us. So give your inner critic a name or call it out for what it really is- jealousy, insecurity, fear, etc.You can keep the name in your head, but Rock believes that when you speak it, it activates a more robust short circuit to help break the emotional hold.If you think you can, or cant, do something, youre right - Henry FordThis article was originally published on L aRae Quy.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people